Brutus the BIG FAT CAT

My cat is a big fat cat.

Other kids I know have cats, too.

Some are big cats.

And some are fat cats.

But I have the biggest, fattest cat on our street.

This is my cat -- Brutus.

We have fun together. We play games.

I throw a piece of string, and he sits and watches me.

He moves sometimes.

We play hide-and-seek, I'm a bad hide-and-seek player.

I can never find Brutus, no matter where he hides.

We play bedtime, and I don't need a pillow.

He doesn't do neat tricks.

Oh, I know he can't be perfect.

He has lots of bad habits.

He throws up hairballs.

He hisses at most people.

We don't let him out much any more.

Brutus loves drinking out of the toilet.

It's not easy to keep Brutus.

He eats alot.

His litterbox is a problem, too.

But he's a very good bug-catcher.

The bad bugs don't come around anymore.

One day I tried to give Brutus a bath.

And I combed his fur, and took him to the cat show.

I'd like to say Brutus won first prize. But he didn't.

I don't care.

You can keep all your svelte cats.

You can keep all your active, friendly, and responsive cats.

I'll keep Brutus. . . .Wouldn't you?

*UPDATE*12.22.00* We are sorry to report that Brutus has been diagnosed with a chronic kidney problem and is no longer very big nor very fat. In fact, he has lost 2 pounds over the last couple of months, which is rather significant on a body that is only about 15 inches long and roughly 8 inches tall. He is happy, though, because he gets to eat canned food now, just like the cats on TV. We are keeping this story up in honor of his 13 vital years so far and hope you enjoy it thoroughly.